Missing in Action

10:36 AM

Where have I been? I've been procrastinating from this blog for months now.. I look at my dashboard and i noticed some drafted posts about summer, travels, birthday, work, movies, year-end review and what not that i never got to post.. i've been meaning to blog but exhaustion from work, poor internet connection and little patience got me on MIA for the past few months..


i just realized there's something more.. little by little, without me knowing, i'm shedding off the most important thing i used to gain in Singapore.. im shedding off my confidence.. 


i remember when i first started working, i used to gain attention from some people not only because im the new girl.. i used to be able to mix and match my girly pieces, accessorize, practice work wear the night before or i even used to prepare my week's attire during Sunday nights because i want to look and feel good.. i used to feel so great and composed standing in the elevators along with Summit Media fashion editors.. 


only after delivering my 5th career talk, in a sudden state of quiet on our van on the way back from San Fernando to Manila did i realize how my confidence was really down especially in the last 2 weeks.. i tried remembering when i last made the same effort to my work wear but i can't..  im going back to the lady who just want to be safe.. who compromises.. who wants to draw people's attention away.. and who's too lazy to look and feel good.. i just realized i hate what i'd become..


im not a fashion guru, my wardrobe still lacks a lot of great pieces to enable me to do OOTD posts like most fashion bloggers do.. It must be the hair that takes too long to grow? or the blemishes that appeared since December and now i can't seem to get rid off?


I read back on all the posts i've previously made when i was starting this blog, i read back on what this blog is all about and damn.. its such as shame im not delivering on this blog's promise.. its such a shame that i try inspiring people especially the lives of the youth through training, career and personality talks yet i don't practice what i preach..


i'll start finding that girl again.. the one with the fire to inspire.. the girl that exudes confidence.. my inner diva.. =)


Plussized hugs,
Aiz



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