Defining Chemistry.. But it would be complicated..

1:53 AM

So your personalities jive.. and then there's chemistry.. but wait how do you define Chemistry? and then i stopped... so I searched all over the net and got these excerpts as I've been trying not to entertain my thoughts and feelings.. and not again will I confuse deep friendship with potential love..

When you think about the qualities found in a true "soul mate" relationship, what one word comes up most often on the top of your list?Is it CHEMISTRY? Probably. Just the mention of this term conjures up powerful feelings and images for anyone who has ever been in or seeking a love relationship. It is often described as a feeling that leaves you breathless, excited and weak in the knees. Palms sweat, the heart races and the body tingles with nervous anticipation. Right? Maybe not. For this definition of chemistry is limited to one's physical response to another person. It lacks an entire dimension that resides in our values, beliefs, personalities and worldview. 


How do you define chemistry? I think of it as a strong attraction that includes love, lust, infatuation, and a desire to be involved intimately with someone. Chemistry is emotional desire for relationship.

Kahlil Gibran defines it as "spiritual affinity". It's the hidden element of chemistry. It's when two beings meet and connect on a deeper level. It can only be felt in the heart and soul. It's about friendship, respect, humor and the feelings of warmth and contentment that come when you are in his/her presence.  

Physical attraction generally begins during our first contact with someone. It can DEVELOP into something more over time, yet some pull is there from the beginning. The chemical that results from this attraction (and intensifies it) is phenyl ethylamine - or PEA. It is a naturally occurring substance in the brain. Essentially, it is a natural amphetamine. It stimulates us and increases both physical and emotional energy. The attraction causes us to produce more PEA, which results in those dizzying feelings associated with romantic love. Another substance that is released by PEA is dopamine. This chemical increases a desire to be physically close and intimately connected.

When these chemicals are being secreted in larger doses, they send signals from the brain to the other organs of the body. If you wonder why you or someone is attracted to the "wrong" person, it may be because you are high on the physical response to these substances, which overwhelm your ability to use your head and exercise "good judgment and common sense".

"Spiritual affinity" develops over time and repeated contact. When these feelings begin to emerge, the brain produces endorphins. These are more like morphine and result in an increased sense of calm that reduces anxiety and helps to build attachment. As relationships move into this phase they are characterized by more comfort, commitment and friendship. 

despite your differences, you know your personalities jive.. it wasn't the same as the other guy friends you had.. there's chemistry.. oh wait maybe not chemistry but its more of spiritual affinity.. I think Kahlil Gibran defined it well.. but you feel mature enough to think this is not yet it.. and its not right as there are lots of factors that would make things very complicated.. so just enjoy the friendship, the smile that comes across when he jokes around, hangs around and talks to you, and the calmness and spiritual healing his presence brings in you..

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