DIVA AIZ

I haven't wrote an entry on this blog for almost a month now.. I have been working out on personal issues, career, business and a breakup from a 4-year relationship (yes.. and it was just yesterday!! after 3 months of hanging we finally were mature enough to accept defeat, stay strong and let go).. I am at a crossroads.. and somehow, I feel like I wont be able to deliver the purpose of setting up this blog.. which is empowering.. myself and others..

I am generally an optimistic person.. in fact, even now that I am going through something.. i am still filled with hope that one day, things will be fine.. i am not hating anyone or anything.. its just that i need to take a Pause.. to grieve, to heal, to think, to renew my strength and to be whole again..

you cannot inspire others and give others advice if your thoughts are all over the place, you're emotions are all mixed and you feel at lost..

someday, i know i'll have lessons learned from this experience... and i'll write it down for everyone who will have to go through the same..

if you're wondering whether i completed my 15.15.15 challenge.. no I wasn't.. i think i only finished half.. some events and some things came up, so instead of going to this place, i went somewhere else, and sometimes it was the weather..

i was supposed to blog as well after i turned 23.. after my birthday celebration.. but I was too preoccupied on other things.. and though i generally feel blessed in most areas of my life.. and thankful for my friends' and family's overflowing love, i decided not to push through with that writing.. i'll save it for my year-end post instead :)

right now, my best friend on times when my real life best friends and family is not around, aside from God... are a tub of  ice cream, sometimes half a bottle of beer, songs from Nina, Juris, Erik Santos, BoyzIIMen and Kyla and great books:

* Floundering at 25: a Younglife Crisis  -  this is a highly recommendable book.. its not a book that tells you what to do, how to cope up.. its just like a best friend... it makes you feel like you're not the only one who had to go through it.. or goes through it.. everything the author mentioned is something i can relate to.. from relationships, career, faith, friendships..

* Eat Pray Love - love this book but still wasn't able to watch the movie.. wasn't able to watch in SG, when I came back only SM Megamall is showing it and it was a busy first week/weekend.. i have to wait for a good DVD copy.. and yes, wait for my DVD player to come back.. which is in the hands of Mr.Yesterday..

* When God Writes your Love Story - this was my source of strength... it fills me with hope that someday, someone will come along, someone God prepared for you, someone who deserves you, someone who would not take you forgranted, someone who would appreciate you, someone who would love you the way you want to, the way God loves you.. you just have to entrust your love life to Him.. and let Him do His will.. that's why when Mr.Yesterday and I talked, i never questioned.. because for weeks now, i've only been praying for both our healing and for Him to do His will.. and maybe this was His will.. maybe the person right for you 4-5 years ago may not be right for you now..

before i get sappy and melancholic and seeming pathetic to you, whoever you are, who will read this blog entry..

I would have to declare a PAUSE to this blog.. I'll be back and I'll bounce back.. soon..

the not so lovely me.. will have to be seen more on the HowAizEeIt blog and Twitter.. where no one seems to care much hehe.. at least less public pdn..

Went to East Coast Park for the 3rd time.. but.. this is the very 1st time I went there just because..

my 1st time was during Christian or Aileen's bday.. and its already evening when we arrived.. I didn't get to appreciate the place that much..

my 2nd time was during the last day of my ex-colleague Ryan.. we went there for a long lunch.. at a Kebab restau.. but again, we didn't have the time to explore and see the long stretch of East Coast beach..

and this time, for the 3rd time, with a purpose of viewing and booking barbeque pits, chalets or tables for my sister and I's party on Saturday..

No luck.. all bbq pits are booked.. like it says online.. chalets are very expensive because they are on an overnight rate.. and there are plenty of tables and gazebo to squat on for free hehe.. gotta be early on Saturday.. tables are on first come, first serve basis..

Anyway, this was the first time I rode a tandem bicycle.. first time I rode a bicycle in public / park.. first time i explored East Coast Park from end to end.. an hour of biking.. great surroundings.. biking feels great.. i know now how to ride a bike! yeah it feels great..

my sis and  I took turns on who'll ride in front.. first trials with me in front.. fail!!! 1. we would zigzag.. 2. i almost hit someone jogging.. 3. we hit a bush haha.. 4. finally a success!! ill probably shoot a video of myself riding a bike alone this coming Saturday..

from the taxi stand we rented a bike.. good thing cause the chalet is like 15-20 minute walk.. biking saved time!

Expect less.. never assume..

instead of going to Zouk, us as Singapore travel consultant of our friends and relatives from Manila, just decided to go to Marina Bay.. and stay there.. after all, a tour in Singapore can't be complete without having a photo with the Merlion.. leave out Zouk but not Merlion.. and we thought we're lucky enough that we would see the iLight Marina Bay and the light art installations running from Oct.15 - Nov.7.. so its something new..

so we headed to the Marina Bay mainly to tour Vishnu's cousin Marice and her friends (Joanne and Vince)

Merlion, Esplanade and Makansutra

There's nothing so special about the iLight Marina Bay.. to be honest, I was disappointed... maybe I missed the light show whatever at 8PM? There should be 25 light art installations.. but from those ive seen from Art 8 - 18? only the 18th - the Wattfish amazed me :( id prefer Orchard's Xmas and Little India's Deepavali installations over this one..

though I still took a few photos of the worthy art installations i found along the way..

hindi ulit nakaalis.. birthday ni Tita Amy, mommy ni Mark.. for the first time, she's celebrating it in Singapore.. for the first time, she's celebrating it with us..

For someone going through therapies and medications, she's truly admirable for her strength and cheerful, happy spirit..

Wish you good health and more birthdays to come, Tita Amy!!

In short, I wasn't able to go to new places in the last two days.. October 14 instead of me and Ate Ai going to Chinese Garden and Jurong swimming complex, we had to change plans because Kuya Rudz asked to wait for them as they want to join in that trip too and we needed to buy gifts for Tita Amy and Moses. We got Tita Amy a pair of elegant earrings from Swarovski.. and I got Moses a perfume.. Unforgivable by Sean John.. oh so clean yet masculine scent for a man..

I first heard of this book from Spot.PH announcing with pride that international Publisher Marshall Cavendish has chosen .three Filipina writers to launch the Asia version of their runaway success chick lit in the US and UK called “Asia Chic” books.

We woke up late because of last night's Facebook Texas Poker marathon.. so instead of going to Chinese Garden, I've just decided we head to Mount Faber..

i know i'm too old for wishlists.. so i'll start of with.. World Peace.. LOL.. I just thought of putting this up for the benefit of my family and friends hehe so world peace, clean air, good health for the family, dream job isn't something they can provide in an instant..


This is also for my benefit.. checklist for me to always keep in mind these items I often forget.. I always look forward to Christmases and birthdays not only coz of the presents and partying with loved ones but because, its also a good excuse for me to give myself a present, hah!


I know that I’m a very difficult person to shop for when it comes to Christmases and birthdays, so this would  help in their selection.. I would appreciate other gifts too.. of course... these are just things I often look at online, or while window shopping, but I always end up not buying for reasons that im such a stingy and indecisive person haha.. so not in order of preference..

15.15.15 challenge..
Whoever said Singapore was so small you could finish your tour in four days was totally wrong!

Two and a half years in Singapore and yet I'm unable to roam around, visit and enjoy other places aside from the usual Marina Bay, City Hall, Sentosa, Orchard Road (for shopping and with Lucky Plaza for my remittances and cravings for Filipino food) and Shenton Way (where my office is located).. so where did my weekends go??

there were plans with Gracie, a friend from high school to go to all the malls connected to the MRTs once every month but never materialized.. well once?? not so sure..

there were plans with housemates to go to Family and Adventure places all around Singapore, but we never dared again after that traumatic 5-hr trail trip in Macritchie Reservoir.. Don't get me wrong, it is a good place and I'm still planning to go back and finish the entire trail and see the suspension bridge.. But imagine this scenario of me and my housemates:: Rudney in Burberry bag and sneakers, Ruben in Gucci bag, Mark in a new Zara slippers that's guaranteed to give him paltos, Vishnu? I cant recall his struggle, and me with 1 liter water bottle to save the designer wearing housemates of mine from collapsing haha.. it would've been fun.. if only we were more prepared.. and if perhaps we were more adventure seeking and sport minded?

ok so since freedom from work is official today.. and I have exactly 15 days before flying again to Manila.. and I missed my 10.10.10 challenge (10 hours, 10 different things, 10 different places) Now, I'm challenging myself to go to 15 interesting places in Singapore, which usual tourists may not have been yet, but someone who worked and lived here should've explored and known by heart.. (I've been to some of these places but never had time to explore)

targets in my list..
1. Chinese Garden
2. Jurong East Swimming Complex
3. Wild Wild Wet and Escape theme Park
4. Henderson Waves
5. Mount Faber
6. Macritchie Suspension Bridge
7. Haji Lane in the afternoon
8. Boat Quay
9. Marina Barrage
10. Changi beach / Pulau Ubin
11. either a mass at Cathedral of Good Shepherd or attend a Tagalog mass in SG
12. an evening at Zouk or Stereolab
13. Deepavali light up in Little India
14. Holland Village
15. anything goes..

so who's with me.. raise your hand?? hehe.. well i know it would be safe to do all this things alone in singapore.. and it would be nice to explore alone, but if someone could accompany, better right? and what else could you recommend apart from those above??

its been a long time since I've last updated this blog.. I was in Manila.. without a good internet connection (Globe Tattoo in which i need to go out at my condo's balcony just to get a good signal.. struggle!) so instead of spending too much time in the internet, i just check my mail and Facebook and go back to watching series..

so I posted this a few days go in my Facebook notes.. without realizing I have a blog and it should be there as well.. so here it goes.. a repost from my FB notes..

Yey!! I'd be a hypocrite if I won't admit this.. but I really hoped they would feature me.. but I wasn't expecting much as well since they are also qualifying deserving people to get featured in their plump girls of the week... See the rest of the post here >> She puts the UMP in PLUMP (#9)


Weekly, they are featuring real-life plus-size women.. of all ages.. all style.. from anywhere in the world.. but of course, she has to be a Pinay.. Looking forward to see and meet other plus-size women who has a great sense of fashion and who can inspire me to go lengths despite the size.


Anyways, I'm so glad I got chosen. Not because of fame. Not because I'll have something to boast. But because I really want to inspire other plus-size girls. I know you often hear or read me say that.. But if I have a vision, I want plus-size girls like me to be able to:

• wear stylish clothes and not be limited to baggy clothes or dark hues
• feel confident because they look amazing in those high heels, or short skirt, or lovely dress
• feel pretty because they can accessorize, wear pastel colors
• feel like they can take on the world because people appreciate not only the beauty they have from within, but because the glances they receive from people are glances of admiration
• sing, dance, perform in front of everyone without fear they get ridiculed
• go to the gym not because they want to drop their size to 0 or 2.. but because they just want to be able to do ac
• take a photograph and smile their best and not get worried about how flabby those arms would look, how that belly will show
• inspire other plus-size girls to do the same

Growing up, especially in my teens, I was never bullied, but I've had experiences of some people who talked behind my back, gossip about other things, but mostly because my sense of fashion doesn't fit theirs. The most I heard was "parang suman ang taba taba naman" and so, I dressed mature for my age, I wore body-hugging clothes, I wore a little lower necklines. Not that I was trying too hard to dress like a lady, but I thought then, it looked good on me, and so that's what I wore. 


Back then, my initial reaction was to fit in, I got affected about their negative backstabbing, I dressed very manang, in conforme to what a regular teenage girl would wear, a bit loose blouse, no accessories, a bit loose pants. I realized I'm going the wrong way when my brothers noticed I've been recently fond of wearing safe outfits whenever I go to school and whenever I go out on my own and they almost thought I'd be a nun. I remember my brother telling me "Wag kang gumaya sa iba. Magpakaiba ka ndi ung sumasabay ka lang sa kung anong ayos nila." (Don't be like others. Be different and make your self stand out and not just look like the rest of them). He would always tell me that but it didnt matter then. I'm a natural people pleaser, I never want people to look down on me, I don't want them to hate me.


 I think it was only during those Glee Club days in Siena College Taytay (around 3rd yr high school) when my outlook changed, found my confidence back, and never went back to thinking about what others say. I developed my singing hobby and talent. Met other girls with the same passion. Also, it was during these times when I became more true to myself, and able to meet and bond more with my true friends and they're still my friends up to now : )



Do not allow anyone to define who you are and define you or define beauty for you. Those who hate you? They are just 1/50th of the many others who loves you and appreciates your beauty in and out. You just have to feel beautiful and smart, and when you feel so, other people will see you that way, too!

Screenshot of my feature in theplumpinay

This quote below inspired me to do this post. I know the explanation may not really fit in the plus side... but it just suits the situation I am currently in.. i just want to live for the moment, enjoy the ride and let the destination take care of itself.

Have faith in yourself

Sometimes you have to take a big, scary leap into the unknown. You may not know the next step, & you might not know exactly what you’re doing, or how it’s all going to work out — but you need to have faith in yourself & trust in the process.

A lot of people never take any risks because they feel the need to organise their life to death & have stringent plans which they execute like clockwork. That’s an okay way to live, but it’s certainly not very exciting, & it can take some of the thrill out of life! Life becomes much more magnificent when you just decide to do things, & trust that it will all work out. It can be terrifying, but it’s also amazing.

-from Galadarling.com

Hope it inspired you as well!


Plus Hugs,
Aiz

People at my household loves food... Though I wasn't able to acquire that cooking skill from my Mom.. or maybe I have yet to practice  it.. I am still a work in progress when it comes to cooking.. I have a few to boast.. Fried eggs, hotdog, fried rice, beef steak and ginataang halo halo.. Is that really enough for me to boast? Hehe.. I'll work on my cooking skills soon as I am back in Phils.. But for now I think my baking skills will complement with my lack in cooking.. ha!

Alright, so Saturday night, we pushed through the "Cookfest night". If I'm not mistaken,  since my brother's birthday, we were having themed parties at home in all weekends of August. Suggested by yours truly, agreed by my housemates and supported and finalized in one evening of coffee get-together at Orchard Road's The Coffee Club.

Pro: very eatable

Con: its like any other lasagna. 

and so we ended our night with some booze, playing charades, karaoke, and some more chikahan..

I have yet to ask the chefs about the recipe.. I'll try doing them someday.. and I'll be sure to post it here in my blog..

I started my very own blog 2 or 3 months ago.. but it wasn't a success.. i had nothing much to write about.. i initially thought it could be personal thoughts and experiences.. but I wasn't really sure whether I want to share each and everyday of my life to the public. i didn't really want to expose myself that much. and I didn't want my blog to be all about songs, and videos and youtube, or random ramblings and thoughts. somehow, Facebook serves me that purpose.

Around July, I joined a Makeover and Photoshoot for a Plus-Size Blogshop / Online Community in Singapore
Inspiration No.1 ::  Big and Beautiful - Online Shopping for Plus Size Women.. I met other beautiful plus-size girls with plus-size personalities too! and ever since, i've always wanted to join their activities and get-togethers. I loved that the blog owners not just do business but they also created an Online Community. Their Celebrating Curves campaign catered to plus-sized girls in Singapore and allowed them to experience dancing classes, personality development talks, model clothes, go for photoshoots, go for beach parties, do music videos, join a fashion show and even join a pageant. All those things really inspired me and somehow,  I told myself I'll promote all blogs i'll stumble upon which has the same cause, and when I'm home for good in the Philippines, I'll create the same kind of community and opportunities. I'll do small steps, its gonna be a work in progress but I will definitely make it happen.. BAB boosted my confidence a notch higher and so I should inspire others and raise their confidence as well.


Few weeks ago.. i stumbled upon

Inspiration No.2 :: Cosmo Philippines post regarding why you should start your own blog and how to maintain it. Honestly it made me look back at my old, untouched after 4 posts blog and inspired me to think of what I want, what I'm good at, what I am passionate about.. and it happened to be! Food and Flicks and most importantly, Fashion and Friendships :) i thought of a mix between Chictopia and BAB
 
Inspiration No.3 :: Moda Plus Model Search - - im glad to be among the qualified entries, im glad Philippines has started opening doors for the Plus Sized market.. i was so suprised when i hit the 1000th vote, and said if only I could reach 1,500 votes.. i'll push through with the blog.. and so, i did not just reach 1500, i ended up 1700++ as of 12MN last night and made it through the Top 8.. this search not only made me meet new friends, not just the contestants but my network has extended as well.. it taught me to love myself, it made me realized that there are other people who would believe in you and support you whether you haven't met them yet, and the more people believe in you, somehow you get inspired to show them you are worth their vote/support.. It opened a lot of doors for me as well in Phils.
 
 
Then last week.. I received a message on Facebook from
Inspiration No.4 :: The Plump Pinay by Sisters Stacy and Danah. I loved their blog.. i find the articles they wrote very witty.. they are stylish and like i told myself since i joined BAB, I'll promote all blogs i'll stumble upon which has the same cause. Danah by the way saw my photo from Moda Plus and sent me a message for a possibility of getting featured. She was so supportive as well when I told her I wanted to start a blog.. with similar theme as the one they have.. Inspiring Plus Size Women..



Stay tune for more posts..

pLus loVe, Aiz